And Now for Something Completely Different…. June 1, 2010

Yeah, yeah, yeah….I know. I haven’t added anything to this in a looooong time. The tens of you that may still check in here looking for some version of the crap I say, please check with my new place to vent. And I discuss my latest weird obsession…. Exciting, no? http://www.thamanbroiderer.blogspot.com/

Take a Gander at This, or, Humiliating Your Lawn Ornaments August 5, 2008

It takes a special person to truly appreciate lawn ornaments.  It takes an even more special one to display seasonal lawn ornaments.  I mean, think of the dedication and desire it takes to slog through the snow to change your “Santa Stop Here!” mini-banner to the more January-appropriate “Let it Snow!” one.  And then you [...]

How You Found Me, or, Elizabeth Berkley Still has a Lot of Fans July 8, 2008

In case any of you were curious, I get about 50 or so unique hits a day here at Stone Cold Stump.  I find this incredible, as I don’t think I could name 50 people I actually know off the top of my head.  And I would probably only like about 10 of them, if [...]

Japanese people are lucky, or, Where’s LaToya? May 16, 2008

In case you didn’t know, I do love me some TV. Right now, I am exploding with anticipation over the return of “So, You Think You Can Dance.” Not so much for the actual competition itself, but because the ads seem to indicate that the best SYTYCD contestant ever is returning. Yes, friends, SEX is [...]

Brava, Bravo, or, Things I Will Be Doing this Summer While Others Swim and Stuff April 16, 2008

Well, today is a banner day. Next to Christmas and my birthday, I can think of few more exciting times to be alive than the day Bravo announces is Summer schedule. I will be the first to admit that I am totally Bravo’s bitch. They can pretty much put on whatever they want and I [...]

She Probably Had Brunch at Paula Deen’s March 14, 2008

That ladies’ brunch will get you every time…. From KCTV5 in Kansas City: Woman Spent 2 Years On Toilet Boyfriend: She Wanted To Stay NESS CITY, Kan. — A 35-year-old woman who apparently spent two years in her boyfriend’s bathroom in Ness City had become stuck to the toilet seat, authorities said Wednesday.”She was not [...]

Twelve Angry D-Listers, or, What is Clogging Up my TiVo Today March 11, 2008

Lordy, how I do love court shows. When we meet up, ask me to do my word-for-word re-inactments of my favorite Judge Judy episodes (right now I am torn between the lady who sued her former landlord because she beaned her with some TupperWare and the gripping donnybrook that resulted from two pretty little Alabama [...]

Useless Products I Really Need, or, Why my Credit Card Bills are Higher than my Rent, Chapter 15 March 4, 2008

I am sure you all are now starving for doughnuts after reading about Paula Deen’s Ladies’ Brunch Burgers. I know I sure am! I wish I could have a nice, piping-hot wad of dough right now. Right here at my desk. NOW! Well, thanks to the fine folks at Dough-Nu-Matic, I can! And so can [...]

Big Girl, You Are Beautiful, or, Paula Deen Makes Brunch for the Ladies March 3, 2008

Sunday morning, I was completely minding my own business, watching TV and eating cereal (as I do just about every Sunday morning.)  There was nothing of interest on either of my TiVos, except for one of my favorite old Law & Order: Criminal Intents (oooooh….creepy Santeria cult).  So I was forced to watch live, actual [...]

Useless Products I Really Need, or, Why my Credit Card Bills are Higher than my Rent, Chapter 14 February 5, 2008

Just in time for Valentine’s Day! Have you ever been looking at your vagina or anus and said to yourself, “Self, I am getting a little dingy down there. My vagina and/or anus just don’t look as pristine as it/they once did. Where is the shine and gleam I used to associate with my poop [...]