Wow, all of that talk of salad has me jonesing for some! Maybe I need an AeroGarden right here at my desk! Well, I want a salad, but I also want the sweet taste of some candy. Often times, I am sitting around mindlessly eating my Snickers Bar, and I will say to myself, “Self, [...]
Archive for the 'Life Crap' Category
Useless Products I Really Need, Or, Why My Credit Card Bills are Higher Than My Rent: Chapter Seven
May 4, 2007
How Tranquil! How Tropical! How Useless! It’s the AeroGarden!
According to the Manufacturer:
“Now you can easily grow delicious food and beautiful flowers – year round – in your kitchen! Grow fresh salad greens, cherry tomatoes and more in as little as four weeks without dirt, mess you weeds!
Why I don’t Need it: I’m not a huge [...]
Useless Products I Really Need, Or, Why My Credit Card Bills are Higher Than My Rent: Chapter Six
May 3, 2007
Bite Me, Bill W.!
I need a LazyDrinker!
According to the Manufacturer:
“The Lazy Drinker is quite simply a computer controlled mixed drink dispensing device. It’s designed to hold 16 ingredients and multiple units can be chained together to get more. By using a series of pressurized valves, the ingredients are mixed automatically by your computer perfectly every [...]
Ist Heir Clark!
May 2, 2007
Ist heir Clark in Berlin!
Er liebt brezelen und bier!
Er liebt zu David Hasselhoff zu tanzen!
Click on the Hoff and dance along with Clark!
Useless Products I Really Need, Or, Why My Credit Card Bills are Higher than My Rent: Chapter Four
May 1, 2007
Holy Corn Dogs, Batman! It’s the Batter Pro!
According to The Manufacturer:
“The revolutionary way to batter all of your foods in under ten seconds! Prepare 30 fresh fish sticks without ever touching raw food! Batter 50 shrimp all at once for a party platter! The ‘magic’ is the patented design [...]
Clark on Vacation
May 1, 2007
I took Clark to Hershey Park this weekend for a Father/Theoretical Son trip.
He had a great time, but he did hate standing in all the lines!
As you can see here, he just sort of stood to the side and let everyone pass him by.
The weekend before I took him to South of the Border. [...]
I Have a Headache, or, “Sparkle, Stumpy, Sparkle”
May 1, 2007
I have a terrible headache today because I drank way too much this weekend.
It is all Tom and Susie’s fault. They are bad influences.
Let’s all watch the trailer for “Valley of the Dolls” until I have learned my lesson, shall we?
Useless Products I Really Need, Or, Why My Credit Card Bills are Higher than My Rent: Chapter Three
May 1, 2007
Voila! America, Meet the Dryer Balls!
According to the Manufacturer:
” Soften your clothes naturally without chemicals! Just toss these ribbed balls into your dryer and the tumbling action lifts and separates clothes so they dry faster with fewer wrinkles! You’ll never buy expensive dryer sheets or fabric softeners again!”
Why I don’t need it: I like scented [...]
Meet My New Theoretical Girlfriend
April 27, 2007
I’ve been thinking that Clark, my theoretical adopted son, needs a positive female role model. Ergo, I found Alexyss Tylor.
She is my dream woman. I would totally take her to Long John Silvers and let her order the shrimp. Or, we could stay home with Clark, snuggle up on the couch, and [...]
Useless Products I Really Need, Or, Why My Credit Card Bills are Higher than My Rent: Chapter Two
April 27, 2007
The Swaba Soaper
According to the manufacturer:
“You’ll wash dishes faster when the dishwashing liquid mixes with water right on the faucet! No messy bottles of dishwashing liquid need clutter your sinktop after you attach the Swaba Soaper to your faucet! No waste either! At the touch of a button, it automatically measures [...]
