It takes a special person to truly appreciate lawn ornaments. It takes an even more special one to display seasonal lawn ornaments. I mean, think of the dedication and desire it takes to slog through the snow to change your “Santa Stop Here!” mini-banner to the more January-appropriate “Let it Snow!” one. And then you have to go out and do it all over again for Valentine’s Day!
That is a commitment.
It used to be that people with fake plastic geese in their yards had it easy. They chose a relatively low-maintenance yard decor. You poked their little bird bodies in the yard and maybe hosed them off every once in a while. No fuss. No muss.
Until now.
The Miles Kimball company has decided you plastic bird lovers need to get with the holiday program. No longer shall your neighbors be content with your lowly naked geese. Perk up! Get with the program! Outfit those geese in the most fantastic, humiliating ways imaginable!
Sure, some of you may want to go minimalist and just put a name plate around your goose’s neck like those tacky Wilsons did here…
That’s just lazy, though. Here are just a few of the holiday-themed outfits for your lawn geese the seamstresses at Miles Kimball have cooked up just for you…
Thanksgiving
Fourth of July
St. Patricks Day
Halloween
Now there are some days that are not commonly celebrated, but fret not! Miles has you covered!
Hawaiian Statehood Day (August 21st)
Elvis's Death Day (August 16th)
Red Hat Society Day (April 25th)
Finally, Miles offers us two different ways to celebrate Christmas.
First, you can go more secular with these Santa-inspired get ups…
Or you can choose to get all Biblical with the event and dress your geese up like Mary and Joseph. Please note the Baby Jesus Goose swaddled in Mary’s wing….
Be careful though, Goose-Dressing Enthusiasts…if you embarrass your geese too much, they might be forced into the Lawn Ornament Witness Relocation Program (LOWRP) disguised as entirely different lawn decor!
If I ever have any of these… kill me, quickly!
The Halloween costumes are kinda cute though… like a gateway drug for lawn ornament collectors.