In case any of you were curious, I get about 50 or so unique hits a day here at Stone Cold Stump. I find this incredible, as I don’t think I could name 50 people I actually know off the top of my head. And I would probably only like about 10 of them, if that.
I have to say though, to all of you people out there who wind up reading what I have to say on here without the benefit of ever having met me…. I love you most of all. You mean the world to me. Really you do. And in tribute to you all, I would like to present a list of my most favorite words and phrases you have used in Google, Yahoo or any other search engine to find me.
I’m so glad we’ve had this time together. And here is what brought us together, my adoring and adorable fans.
1. Slicing cock balls frying
2. Lanie Kazan
3. Judge Judy Tupperware Case
4. Duggar Crazy Bitch (Testify, Brother!)
5. Hot Wet Nurse (I get this one a lot)
6. Useless Jacklyn Smith (aww…come on…not nice)
7. Ball Lifter Cock Rings (Like Chanel…always in style and popular)
8. Does South Beach Skin Solution sell in Iowa? (my first Ask Jeeves question)
9. Chrysler Me For Twelve (I hope you found what you were looking for…)
10. Ghetto Hot Dog Maker (I know you found what you were looking for!)
11. Spam Meat Recipies
12. Brent Stump (Now you people scare me!)
13. Crushed Spam Feet Pix (Dirty!)
14. Paris Hilton Spaghetti
And my personal favorites….
15. Lightup Sexy Cornhole
16. People’s Court “PeePee in the Primer” (You, sir or madam, are my new best friend!)
Still popular after all this time, Elizabeth Berkley, Asian Chantuse Wing, and Bai Ling.
Anyways. Thanks again for making me feel so special. I hope some of you who found me in some obtuse way have stuck around (except you Mr. Crushed Spam Feet Pix…you have issues.)
xoxo
StoneColdStump
