Lordy, how I do love court shows. When we meet up, ask me to do my word-for-word re-inactments of my favorite Judge Judy episodes (right now I am torn between the lady who sued her former landlord because she beaned her with some TupperWare and the gripping donnybrook that resulted from two pretty little Alabama gals having too much to drink at an Iron Bowl party.) I am also partial to an exciting episode of The People’s Court in which a painting contractor fired his assistant without pay because, and I quote in my best Desi Arnaz voice, “He peepee! He peepee in the primer! He peepee in the primer!”
Ah, good times.
Anyhoo, imagine my joy when Tammy, the second of my two TiVo children, began recording something called “Jury Duty.” Let me tell you, there is some serious stuff going on here, kids. As it turns out, Titan Media decided that what was missing from the already crowded courtroom show arena was a show with a jury. But not just any jury, a jury of celebrity superstars.
Unfortunately, Titan couldn’t rustle up many superstars. Instead, they wound up with people like Bruce Jenner (who now looks like a lesbian dried apple doll), former token busty African-American lifeguard Traci Bingham, barely cognizant comedy legend Phyllis Diller, Asiatic lollapalooza/shoplifter Bai Ling, and JM J. Bullock (whose first episode should have been “The Case of the Missing “I”). Throw in occasional visits by Lanie Kazan and the guy who played the mean coach in Karate Kid, and you have yourself a show, kids!
I know, some of you think I am making this crap up. Oh, but I am not.
Jury Duty is currently running on CW11 out of New York. If it is not available in your area, call your cable company immediately and threaten a lawsuit of your own. In the meantime, you may watch entire episodes of the show by clicking on the picture of Judge Bruce Cutler (of Phil Spector trial fame) below….
Personally, I would think this is pretty low-level, but maybe when Titan gathers up enough cash, the can start Celebrity Superior Court, where someone like Debra Messing or James Woods could overturn the decisions reached by JM, Lanie, and Tiffany. And then if it still doesn’t work out, the case could be bumped right up to Celebrity Supreme Court for the final decisions of George Clooney and Madonna.
Just a thought.
