Sunday morning, I was completely minding my own business, watching TV and eating cereal (as I do just about every Sunday morning.) There was nothing of interest on either of my TiVos, except for one of my favorite old Law & Order: Criminal Intents (oooooh….creepy Santeria cult). So I was forced to watch live, actual television. Anyone out there who has a TiVo knows just how painful that can be.
So, I turn on the Food Network just in time to watch everyones favorite deep-fried butterball, Paula Deen making what she called “a brunch for ladies.”
What do you think ladies like to eat for brunch?
Delicate watercress sandwiches with the crusts cut off?
Dainty tea cakes served on doilies?
Nah!
You know what ladies like?
Ladies like Bacon Burgers served on Glazed Doughnuts.
I shit you not, my friends.
And just in case your doctor has cautioned you about the lack of cholesterol in your diet, Paula throws in a nice friend egg to top it all off.
Here is the recipe for all my ladies….
Paula’s Ladies’ Brunch Burger
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
3 tablespoons freshly chopped parsley leaves
2 tablespoons grated onion
House Seasoning, recipe follows
2 tablespoons butter
3 eggs
6 slices bacon, cooked
3 hamburger buns
3 English muffins
6 glazed donutsMix the ground beef, chopped parsley and grated onion together in a large mixing bowl. Season liberally, with House Seasoning. Form 3 hamburger patties.
Heat a large cast iron skillet over medium-high heat and spray with non-stick cooking spray. Add the burgers and cook until desired temperature, 4 to 5 minutes per side for medium-rare.
Fry bacon in a hot pan until crisp. Remove and drain on paper towels. Set aside.
While burgers are cooking, heat a non-stick pan, over medium heat. Add 2 tablespoons butter. Crack 3 eggs into the pan. Cook until the yolks are just set and still slightly runny and remove.
Place burger patties on English muffins or buns, and if desired, on glazed donuts, as the buns. Top each burger with 2 pieces of bacon and a fried egg.
I guess the spare hamburger buns and English muffins are for the less “ladylike” ladies. Or the bitches who showed up late for your brunch. Personally, I like think Paula might serve this like that idiotic Turducken monstrosity that people are rumored to eat at Thanksgiving. She could put the burger, bacon, and egg on the doughnut, then fry the whole thing in butter, slap it inside and English muffin, dip it in mayonnaise, put the whole thing in a hamburger bun and then deep fry it.
Delicious, no?
Yum!
