Attention All U.S. Americans! August 27, 2007

Normally I wouldn’t watch something as lowbrow and tacky as the Miss Teen USA Pageant. And if I did, I certainly wouldn’t mock some poor young contestant for answering a question poorly. We are dealing with young people here…the future!
Of course, if I was the kind of person who would watch and mock [...]

Drumroll please… August 16, 2007

Well thank you avocado pie lovers, shut-ins, Duggar fans, Wing-heads and people who are concerned about the prominent display of their testicles!
Yesterday all of you put us over the top.  Stone Cold Stump reached a milestone 1,000 unique visitors!
Most of all, I would like to thank my dear figment of a son, Clark.  Aretha’s knockers [...]

I am Leaving Work Early Today… August 3, 2007

I am leaving work early today because all I want to do is smoke.
Seriously.
I am such a Mr. Weeder.

I’m Hungry!!!, or, Does This Ass Make My Pants Look Fat? Chapter Seven August 3, 2007

Special Spam-a-riffic, Totally Spam-centric Episode!

Let’s just get this out of the way before I come off like some sort of hypocrite later…
I SERIOUSLY DO LIKE SPAM.
Every once in a while, I like to buy me one of those little cans of SPAM. (Original Recipe, please: none of those Spamcy-fancy “premium” Spams like honey glazed, Bar-B-Que, [...]